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Story Time: Walk of shame

Posted on Wednesday, November 24, 2021 at 10:57 pm

By Lorry MyersI dressed professionally for work each day and that involved skirts and dresses.  Back in the day, nylon hose was part of the bank’s dress code and that tried my patience on summer days. Panty hose in hot weather are tight and sticky and no fun to put on.

Take my word for it.

Then, I heard about a new form of women’s nylons called “thigh highs”. These are very similar to the stockings women wear with a garter belt, except with thigh highs, they stay up on their own. Each pair is held in place by tiny rows of elastic around the top of the legs. You slip them on like stockings, pull them over your thighs and supposedly, there they stay.

Genius.

So, I bought a pair of thigh highs and wore them to the office on what had to be the hottest day yet. It felt glorious to slip them on and pull them up minus the jumping and wiggling it takes to tug on full-blown panty hose.

Trust me, I know.

When I stepped out for lunch, I felt the sun on my face and the gentle swish of my dress and decided to take the ten-minute walk home.

What was I thinking?

I realized I was in trouble after the first block. By the second block, my thigh highs had lost their thigh high powers and starting drooping over my knees. I’d take a step and tug, take a step and pull.

This wasn’t going to end well.

I started walking knocked kneed, trying to limit the fall but I couldn’t keep it up. Five steps later, those thigh highs floated the rest of the way down forming puddles around my ankles. By then I was in the middle of downtown, on a street corner with my undergarments falling off.

Not a good look for me….

For the complete article, see this week’s edition of the Centralia Fireside Guard.