Reverend Sean McIntyre, Centralia United Methodist Church
Has the thought occurred to you following the election….”Well, Thanksgiving with the family ought to be interesting….”? Whether it’s around the Thanksgiving table or in the workplace, conflict seems inevitable—especially when differing opinions on politics, values, or past grievances surface. So, how can we approach these situations with grace and wisdom?
In the midst of a polarized world, it’s tempting to withdraw or avoid conflict altogether. However, retreating from challenging conversations often leaves us disconnected from others and starves us of meaningful relationships. The solution isn’t to shy away from conflict but to learn how to navigate it in a way that fosters understanding and resolution.
The apostle James, in his letter to early Christian communities, offers profound insights into the nature of conflict. He writes, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1). James identifies selfishness as the root cause of most conflicts. Whether it’s jealousy, pride, or a desire to be right, conflict arises when we prioritize our own wants and desires over the well-being of others.
We see this dynamic in many of our own relationships. A discussion on politics or a disagreement with a family member can quickly escalate into a full-blown argument, shifting from the original issue to a battle over egos. James reminds us that conflict doesn’t come out of nowhere—it begins with selfish desires that lead us to fight for our own way.
What can we do to handle conflict in a healthier way? James points us toward a crucial solution: humility. Humility isn’t about thinking less of ourselves but about considering the needs and perspectives of others ahead of our own. Humility invites us to ask important questions: What do I really want? Why do I want it? What does the other person truly want? When we stop focusing on “winning” the argument and instead seek mutual understanding, we open the door to resolution.
For the complete column, see this week’s edition of the Centralia Fireside Guard
