Centralia Fireside Guard

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Sale ads and junk mail

Posted on Tuesday, March 10, 2020 at 2:58 pm

Lorry Myers

Lorry Myers

I noticed little things at first. Pacing and sighing and staring out the window at the snow or the wind or the wet, soggy ground. Then, junk mail that would typically go in the trash was now being sorted into piles on the kitchen counter. Ad solicitations and newspaper inserts and offers to insure your life for pennies on the dollar. Those mailers that were ignored in the past, were now being open and read.


One day, I walked in from work and there was a grocery ad on the counter, folded to a page marked in blue ink. Beside it was another circular and circled on that was a special on a specific brand of soft drink where you had to buy three cartons to get the discount.

Apparently, someone in my house is thirsty.

Before I could say his name, my husband came flying around the corner like he was a man on a mission. “I need to go to the store,” Randy said. “They have grapes on sale and I want to get there before they are picked over.”

With that, he was out the door.

I was curious about his curious his behavior and was going to question him but when he came back, Randy was ranting because the store was out of something that was in their ad. “If it’s going to be in your ad, you’d better have it in stock!” he declared, acting like this was a violation of his constitutional rights. To make up for it, he doubled up on the grapes and grabbed three cases of soda just in case they ran out of those too.

Who was this guy?

Randy has little tolerance for junk mail, nor does he show much interest in inserts yet suddenly, he is spouting off offer codes and reviewing the importance of reviewing your sales receipt. He gets all puffed up when he saves fifty cents and seems to buy sale items simply because they are on sale.

The cases of soda continue to pile up.

So does the junk mail. I am told I need to review an insurance offer from a company out of Nebraska. There is information about refinancing a student loan, which I don’t have, and a letter about changing our cable carrier.

“There’s a free gift if we accept the offer!” Randy exclaimed; his glasses slightly crooked on his face.

What is going on?