By Lorry Myers
From the back of the house, I heard it. It was a throbbing noise, a pinging that annoyed me enough to stop what I was doing and seek it out. I poked my head in each bedroom, convinced the sound was an untimely alarm clock.
What is that noise?
When I turned into the kitchen, there was my husband with his head stuck in the refrigerator and the pinging all around him. “What’s happening?” I asked him, wondering why he couldn’t hear what I was hearing.
Then I remembered.
It was the new refrigerator making that sound. If you leave the door open for too long, an alarm sounds …well, not an alarm but a sound annoying enough that it motivates you to slam the door shut. I had forgotten that new appliance of ours has that feature.
“I hate this refrigerator!” Randy said, pulling his head from inside.
The old appliance we used to have was just that and despite Randy’s efforts to keep it alive it didn’t make it. We had that refrigerator for a long time and it made good ice and didn’t show fingerprints and everything fit in the doors and drawers like it was supposed to go there.
They don’t make them like that anymore.
We shopped around before we found a refrigerator that Randy could commit to. What he really wanted, was one exactly like we had but again, they don’t make them anymore. So, he pouted and refused to open the doors and look inside, choosing instead to grill the salesman about the speed of the icemaker and the shape of the ice cubes.
Ice, it seems, is a very big deal.
Finally, Randy settled on one based on the salesman’s promise that its two icemakers would keep an ice cooler full and Randy was happy. It also has adjustable shelves and sliding racks and a door alarm that tells you your husband is in the refrigerator.
He should have known all of this because he picked it out.
But right then, Randy forgot all that. He hated this refrigerator because nothing fit the way it did in the old one. I looked around the kitchen at the containers and condiments scattered everywhere while the alarm on the door continued.
I am beginning to hate this refrigerator, too.
For the complete article, see this week’s edition of the Centralia Fireside Guard.