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Story Time: Baby naming

Posted on Tuesday, August 22, 2023 at 11:45 am

By Lorry Myers

A few days after their pregnancy announcement, I sent my daughter and her husband my “baby name suggestion list”. I put a lot of thought into that list, including family names and cute names and names you want to grow old with.

     Every single one was rejected.

     I waited until we learned my fourth grandbaby would be my second granddaughter, then, I sent another list with solid girl names. Since my daughter’s last name starts with an “L”, every “L” name I had on the list was thrown out. That’s when Mariah said, “Mom, remember?”

     She went on to remind me of my grandmother’s advice about naming children.

     Never choose a name for a child without trying it out first. Open the door and step outside. Give it a shout, loud and long, echoing across your neighborhood. Stand in a corner of your home and holler it out, see how it feels floating through the air, filling every corner with the words. Taste how it rolls off your lips, how the sound fits in your ears. Practice saying it in a warning, in a celebration, in pride and in prayer. Only then will you know.

     Double “L” names are a mouthful.

     The next week, another list went out showing names that I had thoroughly, and soundly yelled out the backdoor. Each name flowed with just the right syllables and sounds. Names like Murphy and Matilda, Dixie and Daisy; none of which made the cut.

     “Mom,” Mariah said. “Percy? Seriously?”

     Apparently, I forgot to factor in nicknames and bully names and names that can be turned into something else. Also, the list cannot include names of former students, famous people, or names that nobody can spell. Oh, and I cannot include names that are not currently in use but have already been claimed by other friends and family.

     There is a baby name reservation list? Who knew?

     People are always asking the baby’s older sister, what she wants to name the new baby, not realizing that this girl has a mind all her own. Four-year old Via quickly offered her own baby list that included only one name…Snow White.

     Also quickly rejected.

     The next time the OB nurse saw my daughter, she asked about a name. So did the check-out girl in the check-out line, and a random stranger on the sidewalk. Family members are inquiring, friends want to know, and the pressure is increasing closer to the September due date. Everyone wants to offer their suggestion and the reason behind it which quickly turns into a reason to disregard it.

     Baby naming is serious business.

For the complete column, see this week’s edition of the Centralia Fireside Guard.