By Lorry Myers
I choose all my cooking recipes according to my abilities. I am a klutzy cook; the kind who tries so hard to make something right, that something always seems to go wrong. I’ve learned to keep it simple and stick with recipes that don’t stink up the house, or forget to rise, or use cooking skills that are over my head.
My recipe selection is limited.
When I was asked to bring a dip for a party, I decided to go with my old reliable that is easy to make and easy to eat. I frequently make this fruit dip, so I thought perhaps it was time to shake it up. I looked online and found several variations of the recipe that matched my skills and the ingredients I had in my kitchen.
What could possibly go wrong?
While I was softening the cheese and setting up my mixer, I thought about the various cooking misadventures in my past. Divinity down the drain, exploding eggs, and a pressure pan of beans that couldn’t stand the pressure. There has been a couple of kitchen re-paints and a plumber or two involved in the aftermath of my most notable cooking calamities.
I have learned from every single one.
I whipped the sugar, the vanilla, and the cream cheese for the dip, leaving the marshmallow cream until last. I typically make the standard white fruit dip, but I found a recipe that transforms it into chocolaty goodness. My lonely can of cocoa, sitting in the back of my pantry, had been unopened for a while so I checked the expiration date.
You never know around here.
I gave the sealed cocoa can a shake to gauge how much I had. The can felt full, but nothing shifted inside, so I turned it upside down and smacked it hard to displace all the cocoa that had settled since the last time I used it.
Bang, bang, bang…that should do the trick.
I quickly flipped the can over, leaned in, grabbed hold, and popped off the airtight plastic lid, all in one quick motion. Immediately, a plume of cocoa dust exploded into the air, engulfing me in a cloud of chocolate fog. When the dust settled, literally, I was spitting chocolate sand out of my mouth and trying to figure out where I went wrong.
