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Story Time: The sawing machine

Posted on Tuesday, August 30, 2022 at 12:27 pm

By Lorry Myers

I walked onto the patio and quickly noticed a crowd of men huddled at the end of a long table. The charity golf tournament was in support of local veterans so I went out to the course to have some BBQ and show my support.

Afterwards, at the silent auction table, I found coolers, wine baskets and bid sheets for loads of gravel. And there, at the very end of the table, in front of a crowd of admirers, was something I always dreamed about…a handheld, battery driven, mini chainsaw.

I was in love.

I listened to the conversations of the men who circled the chainsaw. All of them, each of them, either had one, used one, or wanted one. They bragged about how handy it was and how easy it was to use. It wouldn’t cut down a tree, or even a hefty branch, but it would cut some “stuff” up.

I want to cut some stuff up.

My husband left me a toolshed full of tools. A blower, a weed eater and a new chainsaw that I can barely lift. Each of these tools requires oil and gas combined in some sort of scientific formula I don’t want to know. I truly want to be self-sufficient and have actually come a long way in the last year. I was never the person who took the trash out to the street each week. I wasn’t the lawn person or the leaves person or the tree person either. I didn’t mow or mulch and struggle with it now that it has become my responsibility. So, I bought an electric blower with an extra-long cord, learned how to throttle up the mower, and starting pulling weeds by hand.

And, every week, it’s on me to take out the trash.

 Since I don’t mix well with oil and gas, that sleeping chainsaw continues to snooze and my yard is becoming a bit of a nightmare. In an effort to keep control, I have been reaching for a primitive hand tool my husband referred to as “a lopper” …I am not a fan. It works fine on fine stuff but the big stuff takes big muscle that I just don’t have. But there, sitting at the end of the table, is the answer to my never-ending search for empowerment! That little chainsaw is lightweight, but still deadly.

I had to have it.

For the complete column, see this week’s edition of the Centralia Fireside Guard.